The Darcy Lewis Guide to Good Fondue
by Jordsy91
Summary: If Darcy Lewis had known that the perks of the job at Shield included being Steve Rogers' fake wife, she would have taken the offer up years ago. Wherein Darcy and Steve infiltrate Hydra to rescue Bucky, and they find they can't stop having these awkward, sexually charged moments. - Full Summary Inside -
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** If Darcy Lewis had known that the perks of the job at Shield included being Steve Rogers' fake wife, she would have taken the offer up years ago. Wherein Darcy and Steve infiltrate Hydra to rescue Bucky, and they find they can't stop having these awkward, sexually charged moments. Darcy will break the sexually repressed Captain if it's the last thing she does -and seeing as they're surrounded by Hydra loyalists, it may well just be.

*Shameless tropes, fluff and romance inside.*

Notes: This is my first foray into writing in six years. Constructive feedback welcome and wanted. Hope you enjoy my shameless tropes and my toe-dip back into fanfiction writing. Subsequent chapters will be longer.

Chapter One: Assignment

Darcy was running so very late, and was so, so fucked.

She had been on time this morning when she left Stark Tower to meet with Coulson; something about a very important matter to discuss. One spilt coffee and two cab rides later she arrived at the new Shield HQ. She was twenty minutes late, and wearing clothes that could only be described as unprofessional. But hey, what could she do when she'd wrecked her last clean work outfit?

So here she was, scrambling into the elevator, removing her headphones and wrapping them around her ipod. She stuffed both into her bag and punched Level 17 into the panel on the elevator wall, flashing her ID badge to confirm clearance. The elevator started to rise, and she took a deep composing breath as she leant against the wall. She hoped Coulson wouldn't be too pissed; she didn't make a habit of being late. She adjusted her tee-shirt making sure the ladies were constrained in the torture device she called a bra, and rubbed her palms on her jeans nervously. The doors opened much too soon, and Darcy mentally crossed her fingers for a happy Phil. She hurried out of the elevator and down the corridor.

"Morning Darcy." Coulson's assistant Brad greeted her from his desk, shooting her a flirtatious smile. "You can go right in, they're waiting for you."

"Thanks Brad." She said hurriedly, opening the door and disappearing from his sight as fast as possible. Things had been awkward for her around Brad since their not-date last week over lunch and she was happy to have a reason to cut any interactions short. He was nice enough, but he was painfully bland.

When she entered Phil's office she noticed Steve sitting across from Phil's desk, the two engaged in conversation. She wondered what kind of meeting could possibly be relevant to both her and Steve.

"Nice of you to finally join us Darcy." Phil looked disapproving as she took her seat in front of his desk. Darcy smiled apologetically.

"Sorry guys, I had the most fucked up morning. Stupid taxi driver made me spill my coffee all over myself." She explained, feeling her face grow warm. Phil looked unimpressed at her language, but now used to it he took it in stride. He took in a deep breath and started to explain why they were both there.

"I've called you here because we need you on the field. We're upgrading your clearance and making you an Agent." Phil began.

"The field? Why do you need me? I'm a desk jockey! Seriously though, do you need me to do another PR write up? What's Tony done now?" Darcy laughed, surely Phil was pulling her leg with the Agent stuff. If it was field work that needed doing, surely Natasha would be better suited. Natasha with her kick-ass fighting and acting skills. Not Darcy and her minimal defensive skills and her too-loud and obnoxious temperament. A temperament that most found to be very disagreeable.

"We need someone with a political mind for this mission Darcy. Steve was given input into choosing a partner for this one, and he chose you."

Well. That was a surprise, despite sharing the same common living space in Stark Tower, they didn't know each other very well, and Darcy had always assumed that Steve found her unbearable. He always pulled a face when she made her jokes and innuendos, and more than once she had offended him into leaving the room. Now he was choosing her to work with him?

"Okay, so what do I need to do?" Darcy questioned, looking from Phil to Steve, who was starting to blush. He scratched the back of his neck nervously. Steve opened his mouth to speak, but it was Phil that started talking.

"We've found The Winter Soldier." Phil began.

"Bucky." Steve corrected.

"Bucky," Phil continued apologetically. Hydra has recaptured him and wiped his memories again, according to our intel. They haven't returned him to his cryo-chamber this time. They've assigned him to a Hydra science facility in Texas. We think they're protecting one of the scientists there, Christian Kossler. He's verging on a breakthrough in the next round of Super Soldier Serum. We can't let that happen." Darcy nodded in agreement, an army full of guys as strong as Steve would be very, very bad for Shield.

"Your job will be to pose as an employee with Steve and monitor Christian and Bucky. You will be using your experience from working with Jane to be Kossler's assistant. From what we hear, Bucky never leaves his side. Once you've gained enough intel on the project; who's had the test serum, who knows and has access to his data, Steve will lead an attack and remove the threat. We also intend to liberate Bucky from Hydra. Steve will be posing as a security grunt.. and you will be posing as a married couple. We can't take the risk of leaving you alone in your own quarters in this facility."

"Married? I'm flattered you recommended me, Steve." Darcy said with a wink, earning her a frustrated glance from Steve that seemed coupled with embarrassment. "But why not Nat? She's much better at covert ops than I am."

"We did discuss Agent Romanoff, and she would usually be our first choice, but she is known to Hydra, and is already on a classified assignment for Director Fury. You were our second choice because you have a political mind, Darcy. You can play the game. And your experience as a lab assistant can't be faked. We need you."

Steve looked at her pleadingly, and that was it. That was how she became a Shield field agent. Phil's explanation was long and had given her a lot to think about. She realised she hadn't yet answered, and Steve was starting to look anxious. "Okay, I'm in. Of course I'll help you get him back, Steve. So when do we begin then?"


	2. Chapter 2

After a few hours Darcy and Steve had been prepped sufficiently and had a good understanding of the assignment. They left Coulson's office with a quick goodbye, promising to be back on Monday for further preparations. 

Steve and Darcy had an appointment with the tech department who would be aiding in his disguise development with some new technology. Darcy would be able to escape with minimal changes to her appearance, Coulson had assured her, due to her being unknown to Hydra. She hoped she could keep her hair as it was. Steve would be less fortunate than her, requiring a complete change. He would be undergoing test runs for voice alterers, on Monday. They were also going to fit Steve for some kind of thin mask that Coulson had assured them was virtually undetectable and tested on the field. 

As they left the office Steve approached the door first, holding it open for her and following her out. She thanked Steve with a bright smile.. His ears went slightly red immediately, but he smiled back, clearing his throat. God, but his innocence was adorable.

Brad was still at his desk as they passed, and looked from Darcy to Steve, appearing slightly put out as they  
passed him.

"See you later Darcy, Captain. " He called out after them, and they responded in kind.

When they reached the end of the corridor, Steve pressed the button for the elevator, and they waited in silence. When the doors slid open, he stood aside and gestured for her to go in first.

"Thanks Cap," she grinned as she pressed the button for Floor 13, where her office was located. "So," she continued, "my first field mission.. aren't you afraid I'll mess it up?" Steve shook his head.

"No I think you'll do great Darcy, like Phil said, you have the mind for this. You're unknown as a field Agent, so you're much less likely to be recognised. Natasha also recommended you. She said you've been training with her lately? "

Darcy nodded. "Yeah, since that last Hydra attack when I had to lock myself in my office. I didn't like feeling useless." She explained. Steve nodded in understanding as the elevator came to a stop. The doors slid open.

"Well this is me. Better go and sort out all this paperwork before I hand PR over to Jennings next week. I'll catch you at the Tower." She stepped out, and the doors started closing. Steve gave her an adorably dorky wave through the gap that reminded her just how long she'd been single.

"Goodbye, Darcy."

She turned around and headed to her office, definitely not thinking about Steve Rogers. She needed to concentrate if she was going to get this mountain of paperwork finished before 5. And damn if she was going to work overtime in her last proper Friday night in the forseeable future.

It took her until 6 that night to get all of her paperwork done, and she was definitely dying for vodka by the end of it. She gathered her things, hailing the first cab she saw. After fighting the peak hour traffic and forking out a generous tip to the driver who had used a few illegal but effective manoeuvres to bypass the worst of it, she trudged to the elevator. She hoped that another infamous Avengers party was taking place tonight.

The common room was still and quiet when she arrived after dumping her stuff off in her apartment. She wandered around, looking for one of her friends. She needed a drink and gossip with the girls in order to face the reality that was her new assignment. She was sure she would make a fool of herself otherwise.

It was on the rooftop balcony that the she eventually found everyone, cheering at Clint doing a kegstand. Thor and Tony were holding his legs and Nat wielded the tap. When Jane spotted her, she raced over, drink in hand and already slightly flushed from the alcohol. 

"Darce! We heard about your assignment, and seeing as Clint and Tasha are leaving soon too, we decided to throw a going away party." Jane said, taking another swig of her drink, waving her hand in their general direction.

"I'm down with that. I need a huge drink, then I need girl talk. I'm going to go crazy working with Steve, I'll end up jumping his bones, Jane." Darcy bemoaned, looking over at Steve who quickly changed his gaze. Shit, he'd heard her. "Damn super hearing." She mumbled to herself, hooking arms with Jane and steering them towards the bar. If she got drunk enough, she might just forget she'd said that, come morning.


	3. Chapter 3

**Steve**

Steve was sipping down a beer (for all the good it would do, but he enjoyed the taste), when he noticed Darcy's arrival. She was still wearing her jeans and tee shirt ensemble from earlier, he noticed appreciatively. Not that he didn't enjoy her other outfits, but he liked the way the jeans clung to the curve of her body.

Steve was still looking over Darcy, contemplating how to strike up a conversation, when Jane approached her. He watched as the two chatted, and noted Darcy looked edgy. He started towards them to see if she was okay, if she was still okay with her assignment. As he got closer, he was sure he heard his name. He immediately thought the worst, as Darcy cringed when she noticed him.

Jesus, Rogers she thinks you're staring. Great. She'll think you only chose her to come on this mission because you want in her pants. Steve admonished himself, turning away from the pair in embarrassment, heading towards the lone figure of Bruce, seated on the lounges away from the group. He sat down opposite Bruce, who was nursing a glass of scotch on ice, and nodded his greeting.

"So Darcy's agreed to help me infiltrate that Hydra facility." He offered as a conversation starter, and pulled a long sip of his beer.

Bruce nodded. "Yeah I heard, how did the meeting go? I told you she'd say yes.. How'd she take it? Was she surprised you chose her?"

"Sort of, I think. She seemed to be holding back on the questions though, which kinda works out better at the moment. I chose her because I know her potential, but I don't want her to think I'm all creepy-stalker about her. I sort of implied that Coulson had more final say. Didn't want her to think I chose her as a ploy to get in her pants." He explained, eyes scanning around the rooftop to make sure she wasn't in earshot. He spotted her at the bar with Nat and Jane, distracted. He decided he could speak more freely.

"Did you?" Bruce questioned, raising his eyebrows slightly. Steve had confided in Bruce of his feelings towards Darcy, but only Bruce. He didn't need the meddling the team was bound to do if anybody else knew. He didn't want that kind of embarrassment hanging over his head. He had a sneaking suspicion that Nat was onto him, though. She was scary that way, he swore she could tap in to everybody's thoughts like a telepath. That woman was a master of body language.

"Of course I didn't choose her for that. You know I'd never. It's not like that. I'd never manipulate her." He assured. He paused, taking another sip of his drink. "Am I attracted to her? Of course, but she really does fit the bill. Someone unrecognisable to Hydra, lab assistant experience, and she's good at politics. I've seen her training with Nat, she's good. How I feel for her is irrelevant." Steve said, and Bruce held his hands up in surrender, chuckling.

"Okay, okay. I meant no offence. I know you're not that kinda guy." He said, still smiling, knowing he'd hit a nerve.

"I know." Steve conceded, relaxing and finally smiling. He felt so tense lately at the prospect of getting Bucky back. The pressure of the mission coupled with his attraction for Darcy would probably drive him up the wall by the end of it all. He took a deep calming breath. She was just a dame.. Why couldn't he have inherited Bucky's skills with ladies? He was sure Bucky would have known all the right things to say. They would've been going steady by now. Shaking those thoughts out of his head, he decided to change the subject.

**Darcy**

Meanwhile, as Steve and Bruce continued their conversation, Darcy was having one of her own with Jane and Natasha, who'd joined them after Clint's keg-stand.

"I swear to God he heard me guys, what if he thinks I'm creepy and decides to choose somebody else to go with?" Darcy groaned, still glowing bright red from the embarrassment of being overhead. Natasha shook her head calmly with a smirk on her face.

"Darcy I guarantee that Steve would be blushing as red as you are right now if he'd heard. I wouldn't worry too much." Natasha said with a knowing look that Darcy decided to ignore. She knew that he was way out of her league, and so did he, judging by the way he avoided her like the plague. She appreciated Nat lying for the benefit of her feelings, but she wasn't stupid.

"Whatever, he heard. He'll avoid me even more now. Why can't the ground open up and swallow me whole every time I'm about to say something stupid in front of him?" She lamented, drinking straight Tequila from the bottle. She scrunched her face up at the taste and Jane cringed.

"How the hell can you drink that shit straight?" Jane said, slurring slightly. Darcy just shrugged and took another pull.

"Just you watch, soon she'll be calling body shots, and we'll see just how interested Steve is." Natasha predicted, eyeing Darcy's half-empty bottle. Jane nodded sagely, before standing up and walking over to Thor, whose turn it now was to do a keg-stand.

"I'm serious, Darcy. Steve doesn't hate you, he just doesn't know how to talk to women." Natasha assured, though Darcy felt no better.

As predicted, the night led to Darcy co-coordinating body shots with the tequila, lemon and salt. She rounded up the group with Nat's help - no one wanted to say no to Natasha, she knew everybody's secrets. With Natasha on-side, they even rounded up Steve, who was looking uncomfortable and reluctant at the prospect of participating.

"So, who first?" Darcy questioned, looking around the group for a volunteer. Clint stepped forward, shrugging and grinning.

"Me!" He said, and hopped up on the bar with surprising agility for someone so drunk. Darcy grinned, Clint was always up for a good laugh. It was a shame she didn't have the crush on him. He was like her spirit animal, her partner in crime. As Clint pulled his shirt up, she noticed Steve looking disapproving and decided to put on a show. Stupid uptight bastard wasn't going to wreck her night or shame her for having fun. She was a grown-ass woman.

Natasha a line of salt down the center of Clint's abs, and splashed some Tequila in his bellybutton. She finished with a wedge of lemon in his mouth, and Darcy set to work, licking up the salt as she traveled down to the alcohol pooling on his belly. She swirled her tongue like a pro, 'enjoy that, Captain uptight', and finally met her mouth with his, stealing the lemon wedge with her teeth. Clint sat up laughing a midst the rowdy cheers of the group, Tony's the loudest. He gave her a high five, pulling his shirt back down and surprising everyone by choosing Tony as his victim for the next shot.

As Darcy stumbled away from the bar to rejoin the group, she caught Steve's glare.

"See Darce, told you he's into you. Totally jealous." Natasha said, nodding in Steve's direction. "Hey Cap!" She shouted, catching Steve's attention. "You should do Darcy next!"

Steve froze for a second, before surprising everyone and agreeing. Darcy turned to Nat and whispered "What the fuck was that?"

Natasha just laughed and pushed her towards the bar. "Trust me, you'll thank me."

-  
**Steve**

When Darcy rounded everyone up to do body shots, Steve cringed. He didn't understand the fascination with such an intimate act in front of all their friends. In private he would be more than willing, but he was too worried about being the laughing stock in front of everybody. One of Steve's crosses to bear was that the super soldier serum equated to super amounts of sex hormones running through his veins. He was hyper-sensitive to getting excited at the drop of a hat, and he could never look anybody in the eye if they noticed such a reaction to a silly drinking game.

All that being counted though, he'd hoped Darcy would pick him, and was decidedly jealous when Clint volunteered. He caught Nat's eye, and a pointed look from her, and a nod from him later and he was suddenly being propositioned. He looked at Darcy, who seemed more than willing and decided to go for it. He shrugged off the cheers of surprise from the guys and took hold of Darcy, lifting her by the hips until she rested on the bar. She started to lay back, and promptly passed out. He moved to catch her, simultaneously thanking and cursing the gods above for that missed opportunity.

When Jane offered to let Darcy sleep in her room, Steve volunteered to carry her downstairs, being the only sober one. He made sure she was comfortable, and left her with a glass of water before disappearing to his apartment for what would be a very cold shower. He decided it was for the best though, she didn't need him falling over himself and behaving like a love-struck moron. It was shaping up to be awkward already without any more sexual tension in the midst.

**Darcy**

Darcy woke up the next day on Jane's couch with a raging hangover. The last thing she remembered was walking towards the bar, then it went fuzzy. She sat up, finding Thor at the small dining table. He grinned at her widely, munching on a pop tart.

"What the hell happened last night?" She groaned, sitting up and holding her head. Shit, did she really get a body shot from Steve?

"You organised body shots then passed out as soon as Steve helped you up on the bar, Darce." Jane said, poking her head out of the kitchenette. She set a coffee down in front of Darcy, and handed her some aspirin, which she gladly accepted.

"How did I end up here?" Darcy questioned.

"Steve carried you down here. Thor would have but he was pretty drunk." Jane answered, and Thor nodded happily like "yep, that's me, I was trashed." At least she wasn't the only drunk one, then.

"Of course I did. Just my luck." She quipped, sipping down some coffee. "So did I really make out with Clint's bellybutton?"

Jane just nodded, looking amused and slightly too smug for Darcy's liking. "Steve was very jealous."

"Oh shut up." Darcy just grumbled, putting her head on the crook of her elbow and contemplating just how much money she'd need to run away to Mexico. She was decidedly NOT thanking Nat right now.


	4. Chapter 4

Later on that day when Darcy's hangover had all but disappeared, she decided it was time to brave food again. She headed up to the communal kitchen, humming to herself softly. She was rifling through the walk-in pantry for something to make when she heard someone else come in.

"Steve!" She greeted, turning in the small space to see him. "I hear I owe you an apology, sorry for the whole passing out on you thing." She said with a cringe. Steve just laughed and waved it off.

"Don't worry, just make sure you don't drink so much next time." He said with a wink and a shit-eating grin.

"Sure thing, Captain." She said smoothly. He patted her arm and grabbed some Ramen, leaving her in the pantry to think about what just happened.

That little shit. Was he just flirting with her?

"Game on, Cap." She whispered to herself with a smirk, unbuttoning the top button of Thor's borrowed shirt. Jane had changed Darcy into the comfy button-down flannelette shirt in the night, for which Darcy was now grateful. She checked her cleavage, and decided another button had to go. She thought about her next move, and decided she knew just the thing. She eyed the waffle mix on the top shelf, just out of her reach. She stood on the tips of her toes and reached for it, to no avail. Perfect. She extended her arms above her head, knowing full well that the shirt rode up enough that it only just covered her panties. She started jumping and making noises of difficulty, reaching for the blue box.

Just as she'd expected he would, Steve came to investigate the noises Darcy was making. As he turned the corner, he caught the sight of Darcy's long, shapely legs-and oh sweet Jesus was that her panties? His mouth went immediately dry, and he had to discreetly adjust his jeans. He cleared his throat to announce his presence and she turned around. Her shirt was unbuttoned dangerously low enough for him to see some ample - and bare - cleavage. He caught on immediately to her intentions. If she wanted to play, he'd play. Virgin he may be, but he knew full well the effect he had on women. It was time to become Sexy Steve ™.

"Need a hand?" He asked, smiling his most charming smile, approaching her and the offending waffle mix.

"Yes please," she nodded, "the waffle mix." He nodded, and she went to move out of the way. He blocked her exit, leaning over her and retrieving the box. He placed a steadying hand on the small of her back as he leant across her, feeling her warmth through the soft shirt. He stepped back, hand trailing across to her hip before falling at his side. He gave her his best innocent face, handing her the box. "Thanks Steve." Darcy said. They both knew full well what the other was doing. Steve decided to head back to the kitchen while he still possessed his self-control.

Darcy breathed a heavy sigh in the pantry, feeling hot and bothered. Steve heard her mumble to herself "you win this round, dammit." He just chuckled quietly to himself, eating his noodles and watching her cook her food, appreciating the view.

"Are you feeling better today?" He asked, winding noodles on his fork and taking a bite. Darcy turned around to reply, and she'd obviously regrouped because Jesus fuck another button was gone now. When the fuck did that happen?

"I had a rough morning but I'm good now. I'm betting that Tony has something in store for tonight, so I'm gonna load up on food and have a quiet afternoon." She said, turning back to the waffles which were just about done. "I think I'm gonna watch some old movies, if you want to join." She offered. Steve choked out his answer - a strangled "yes" as she reached up for a plate out of the cupboard, exposing the edge of that pink lace again. What really broke him was when she leaned over the edge of the chest freezer to find the ice cream. He was about to make his move - ready toss her over his shoulder, caveman-style if she'd have him, when Clint walked in and whistled low.

"I just saw Darcy's Arse-ie!" He shouted childishly. Darcy popped back up as if spring-loaded, shooting a glare at Clint. Everybody knew what that meant - as if a bell had rung alerting him to booty, Tony appeared. His eyes were alight with mischief as he rounded the corner, spotting Darcy.

"I heard a booty call. Came as fast as I could." He winked at Darcy, high-fiving Clint. Steve groaned internally at the interruption. Darcy just snorted a laugh, turning around to dish up her food. When she turned back, Steve noticed her shirt sat a little lower on her legs and the three buttons open had changed to only one. She was playing seductress for his eyes only, apparently. The thought made him hard all over again. Clint and Tony shared a knowing look, silently agreeing to investigate later.

"I swear you guys are horny teenagers." Darcy said as she settled in next to Steve with her food. Steve secretly agreed, though he wasn't much better than them right now. Meanwhile, he was the focal point of two knowing stares courtesy of Tony and Clint. Okay, so maybe they had a point. Steve nodded in surrender, and they ate in companionable silence, joined by Tony and Clint. Steve knew he would be having a "guy talk" with the two as soon as Darcy disappeared. Feeling reluctant, he excused himself to go have a shower, hoping to escape by avoidance.

If there was one thing Darcy was sure of when she left to shower afterwards, it was that she'd won. She was unsure just what that meant for their mission, though. Not wanting to fuck things up, she decided to be a little less obvious next time. Her cheeks flushed a warm pink as she remembered the look in Steve's eyes. She was pretty sure that if they hadn't been interrupted, she was getting lucky on the kitchen bench. '_All in time,' _she mused. After all, she was going to be his fake-wife in a place where nobody knew them. The things she could get away with.. she shivered at the thought, hopping in the shower to freshen up. Steve had offered to join her on her afternoon of movie watching, and she thought it might be wiser if she actually put some real clothes on for that.


	5. Chapter 5

"So this is what you call a classic movie?" Steve asked, pulling a face at the DVD case Darcy was holding up. Darcy gasped in faux-offence, holding her hand to her heart.

"George of the Jungle is a classic, Steve. Just trust me." She assured, popping the disc in the player.

"Okay, but you owe me. I choose next time." Steve said. He propped his feet up on the coffee table, stretching out to be more comfortable.

Darcy nodded, "seems fair," she said, sitting on the lounge herself. She was wrapped up and warm in her fluffy dressing gown, which covered her short shorts and baggy tee. Something told her that keeping covered was a good idea if they wanted to avoid putting on a show for any of the passers-by that were sure to pop in tonight. The Avengers were horrible gossips, and too nosey for their own good when it came to boundaries and privacy. Darcy had learned this the hard way when Clint had dropped from the air vent in her room in the first week of her living there. Since then Darcy had made sure to cover up when she heard sounds in the ceiling. She had narrowly avoided being seen in compromising positions several times before she eventually learned not to leave her bathroom in any state of undress.

Steve was dying to know what was under that robe, of that much he was sure. The movie was halfway through, and Steve was more focused on the strip of leg he could see between the fold of the robe she was wearing. He was interrupted from further thought of investigation by the unwelcome approach of Tony.

"Ooh, George of the Jungle. A classic, nice choice Lewis." He said, plopping down on the lounge between them. He leaned back and put both arms along the back of the lounge, grinning at the looks he was receiving from Steve.

It was going to be a long night if Tony was joining them. Steve kept hoping he'd leave, but he was shit out of luck, he realised. It wasn't long before everybody had joined them, sitting around them and on the floor when all the available spots had been taken. This was when Steve realised it was in his best interests to just stop avoiding Tony and Clint for the dreaded talk. Tony had proven his point, and Steve caught his eye, nodding reluctantly. Tony just smirked victoriously. Damn him and his smart-assery.

By the end of the night, Steve was well and truly fed up, and it was with a new resolve

that he decided he'd need to up his game. He had a long time ahead of him posing as Darcy's husband, and that meant one on one time with her. He'd be putting that to use, it was time to turn the charm on.

On Monday morning, Darcy woke with a spring in her step. Today was the day she was meeting with the "Master of Disguise" at Shield, to go over cover stories and appearance alteration. She hopped out of bed, and showered quickly. She shaved her legs, dried and curled her hair and applied her usual winged eyeliner and red lipstick. She wore a knee-length pencil skirt and a blouse, finishing off with a simple pearl necklace and blue flats.

When Darcy arrived at SHIELD HQ she barely had time for a coffee before she was being rushed to her first meeting. She walked into the large room with a sense of foreboding. She wasn't keen to go changing her appearance too dramatically, and she hoped she could escape with minimal change. She caught Steve's eye as she walked towards him and a tall, dark-haired man.

"Morning Steve," she nodded in greeting, and turned to the other man, "hi, I'm Darcy. I'm guessing you're the master of disguises?" She asked, offering her hand to the man. He smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners and dimples appearing on his cheeks.

"I am. I'm Jack, nice to meet you Darcy. So I understand you two need the full re-haul, huh?" He said, shaking her hand gently yet firmly. Darcy cringed and nodded.

"I'm hoping for not too much change, but just enough to keep me hidden. Stevie-boy here needs a full makeover." She said, elbowing Steve gently.

"Stevie-boy?" Steve mouthed to her incredulously. She just shrugged. He shook his head with a grin. "I need a clean slate. Do what you must." He said jokingly, but his jaw was set and tense. Darcy figured he was liking this as much as she was.

"Okay, I'll be honest, Darcy here is the easy one to disguise. You'll take a lot more work. How about you two come and sit, and we can go through some ideas?" He offered, gesturing to the right. There was a coffee table to the right, surrounded by comfortable looking armchairs. Darcy followed his lead, sipping from her coffee. She ended up seated in the middle armchair, between Steve and Jack.

"So what are you thinking with me, Jack?" Darcy asked, leaning forward to look over his notes that were spread out on the table.

"I'm thinking we change your hair, nothing too crazy but a change of colour and a slight re-style. We'll also give you some coloured contact lenses to suit your prescription, which will be a dark brown. We're going for nondescript, so basic is best." He explained, showing Darcy a photoshopped image of her with deep red hair and dark brown eyes. Darcy studied the photo, and reluctantly agreed that it wasn't the worst look she could have been saddled with. At least it wasn't blonde. She had attempted one little home do-it-yourself dye that had made her the butt of a lot of jokes in Stark Tower for a month. Her hair had gone some shade between techno-orange and Weasley. After that she had stuck to her usual, natural colour.

"This isn't too bad. Is this it?" She asked, gesturing to the photo.

"There's a bit more to it, you'll have to forego the usual eyeliner and lipstick and go for a more natural look. We want to avoid any similarities that we can. Even if you're not known to Hydra, we can never be too careful." Jack said, and Darcy nodded in understanding.

"Okay, so hair, eyes, and makeup. I can handle that." She said, leaning back and relaxing. It was now time to put the heat on Steve. She gave him a sympathetic nod as he leaned forward to start discussions with Jack.

When all was said and done with Steve he was going to look totally different. They were colouring his hair to a deep brown, which Darcy was supposed to help him maintain with fortnightly touch-ups to prevent regrowth showing through. He was to have a voice-alterer implanted in his throat - Darcy didn't want to think about the hows, but it was going to be activation-code controlled once it was in there. He was also going to wear a thin mask that adhered to his hairline and around his jawline to project an image of someone else. Apparently Nat had used this to trick Hydra's big boss during the whole SHIELD/Hydra scandal. Steve was also going to have to leave the shield behind, as it would be a direct tip-off to Hydra if Captain America's shield turned up in their facility.

Once all plans were in place, the rest of the day was spent undergoing these changes, led by Jack and his team of hairdressers and various others. Darcy was glad to keep most of the length of her hair once all was said and done. She didn't think she could rock the short red hair look quite as well as Nat had. She caught sight of herself in the mirror once they were finished with her. She felt estranged from her appearance, but also sort of empowered as she caught the chocolate-eyed redhead in the mirror. She was going to be a kick-ass spy. She was going to do it for Steve and for Bucky and to prove herself as a worthwhile person. Living with a bunch of superheroes and secret agents made one feel inadequate, but it was now Darcy's turn to show her worth. She felt confident as she met back up with Steve, whose hair was now much darker. They had already implanted the voice alterer by the looks of it; Steve was rubbing his throat absentmindedly. His face was still his own, and Darcy assumed he was going to apply the mask and remove it when it suited.

"Looking tall dark and tense, Steve." Darcy teased, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Yeah." He nodded, squeezing back and swallowing hard. His brow was creased, and Darcy could just tell what he was thinking.

"We'll get him back. It'll be worth it in the end." She assured him, rubbing her thumb along the back of his hand, before releasing it.

"I know, I'm just sick of waiting. I need to do something or I'll combust with all this nervous energy."

"How about we get going, then? We can pick up some Chinese food, help each other pack and we can rehearse our backstories till we know them better than we know our real stories." Darcy offered. Steve nodded in keen agreement.

"A feed sounds great. Did you bring your car?" He asked as they started to leave the room, waving their goodbyes to Jack and his team.

"Nope, I caught a cab." Darcy answered.

"How do you feel about motorcycles?" Steve asked, grinning sheepishly.

"I love them! But I'm in a skirt.." She lamented lamely, patting her legs.

"Don't worry, I'll keep you decent." He said with a wink. They got in the elevator and Steve pressed the button for the basement. Darcy's cheeks flushed at the implications, and she poked him with a single finger.

"Rude." She winked, following him to their ride home. The little shit just grinned more, his whole face screaming 'sorry not sorry.'


End file.
